Fuck Yeah Bad Book Art

So much for subtlety.  I think we can all guess what those games are.  Though it’s easy to be distracted by the strange leg positioning and sizing in the background.

Yes, high schoolers—you, too, can have a lucrative career in book art!  (Just make sure to spend more time on your homework, as this artist has undoubtedly done.)

And we break our months long drought with a real doozy: bad photoshopping, bad positioning, just all-around BAD.  I may cry with happiness/disgust.

What this cover has showed me:

Creeping vines like to roughly penetrate menstrual-red clocks.  

Yup, that’s about it.

Blah, blah, blah, condiments and medals in funny places on a guy who looks dead already (Was it the ketchup?  I’m thinking so.  Never use Hunt’s, folks.  Heinz all the way.) yeah, whatever.  

My real question: What exactly is a ‘History Chef’? O_o

This is truly impressive!  Who knew you could make professional book art using Microsoft Paint?

Apparently the ‘dogs of rome’ like to 69.  A lot.  Kinky bitches.  

Somebody has an interesting fetish.  I wonder if he likes it because his diet is deficient in fiber?  

Which one of these things is not like the others?

A. Beautiful, unspoiled mountains.

B. Stately castle lording over a small village.

C. A couple dressed in finery on horseback.

D. Shitty-looking car.

Hmmm… 

There’s just so much about this cover…  

The man with huge pecs.  

The ghost pumpkin.

The hint of a banana hammock at the bottom.

And then the title of the series it’s in, which begs the question, where/what exactly is ‘Ellora’s Cave’?  O_o

She farts party lights!  How convenient!  

The only impressive part of this book cover is the fact that they got the plural possessive apostrophe right.

Everything else is just… ow.  I think my eyes are bleeding.   

I think the plant in the corner of the room is the most realistic looking thing on this cover.

I don’t blame her for her ‘unwanted hunger’.  He looks kinda crazy.  I think he has syphilis.  O_o

Uh oh.  We have a SERIOUS offense here.  Poor Sad Man graphic has been used AGAIN!  Apparently either he (or his twin) is also in “Full Moon Mating”…

…And he’s still sad.  :-(